


binary stars

by kiddevil



Category: DCU (Comics), Green Arrow (Comics), Green Lantern (Comics)
Genre: (to a lesser extent), Arrowfam, Drinking, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, lanternfam, mentions of simonjess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-01 22:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16774558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiddevil/pseuds/kiddevil
Summary: It takes Kyle too long to realize he's in love with his best friend.





	binary stars

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to Maira & Mina for helping me with this! <3  
> this takes place in a conglomeration of continuities and canons, but some small notes:  
> -Kyle is still a White Lantern  
> -Kyle and Carol were never in a romantic relationship (she was more of a mentor figure)  
> -Jessica is currently guarding the ghost sector but the events of JL Odyssey haven't taken place yet  
> -Everyone's kids (Lian, Sin, Irey, Jai, etc.) are alive and happy.

“What do you mean, ‘a break’?” Connor asked. “So you’re not going off-planet at all?”

“Not unless there’s an emergency. Besides, Earth could always a little more protection,” Kyle shrugged, plucking at the string of the practice bow Connor had given him. The ‘arrowcave’ was badly-lit, which may be accurate to vigilante work but wasn’t very helpful for beginners. Kyle had been firing arrows for the past half hour and had yet to even nick the target.

Connor watched warily as Kyle nocked another arrow. “Will you please let me give you some pointers?”

“I got this,” Kyle flashed him a grin, then yelped when he released the bowstring too early and nearly shot himself in the foot. “Okay. I got the next one.”

Connor sighed. “So, why do you need a break from space all of sudden? Did something happen?”

“Nothing specific. I’ve just been disconnected from a regular life lately, yanno? To a lot of alien planets, the White Lantern is like a freaking _god_ . It’s cool, but it’s a lot to handle sometimes,” Kyle shrugged. “And there’s plenty of stuff for me to catch up on around here! You know…visit my hometown, work on some paintings – spend more time with my friends.” He bumped Connor with his shoulder, grinning.  
  
“I’d like that,” Connor smiled back.

“Maybe I could join you on patrol, huh?” Kyle ribbed. “Be your new sidekick?”

“Sure, Kyle,” Connor said drily. “If you could fire one arrow straight.”

Kyle scowled. “I’m going to get this next one, I swear!”

“I believe you,” Connor was definitely biting back a laugh, Kyle could _hear_ it. He grit his teeth, raised the bow, aimed, and fired—  
  
“Goddammit.”  
  
“Wow,” Connor said, sounding genuinely impressed. “I think that was actually your worst one yet.”  
  
“Yeah, yeah, I get it.”  
  
“I mean, you managed to shoot an arrow _sideways_ . That was almost perpendicular-”  
  
“I _get_ it, alright?” Kyle cut him off. “Guess this Robin Hood gig is a lot harder than it looks.”  
  
Connor took the bow from his hands. “It just takes practice.” He said, nocking an arrow and drawing it back with ease. “And a good stance.” The arrow flew and pierced the middle of the target. _Bullseye._ “You try it.”  
  
“Okay,” Kyle said uncertainly, taking the bow back and trying his best to copy Connor’s position. “Like this?”  
  
Connor shook his head, stepping forward to adjust Kyle’s arms. “Here – you want to imagine an anchor just below your chin. Now, bend your elbow a bit … there you go.”  
  
Kyle suddenly felt off-balance. “This doesn’t seem right.”  
  
“Don’t overthink it,” Connor said in his ear. He hadn’t let go off Kyle’s arms. “Move your fingers a little. Like this.”  
  
Kyle obeyed. Connor’s chin was resting on Kyle’s shoulders.  
  
“Take aim.”  
  
Kyle drew back the string, inhaling sharply. His focus was anywhere but the target.  
  
“And release.”  
  
The arrow flew, hitting the circle dead center.  
  
“You’re a natural,” Connor beamed at him, and Kyle was sure he felt something sharp piercing his heart. _Bullseye._

* * *

“Kyle.” Simon’s voice said from Kyle’s kitchen. “You need to get off the floor.”  
  
Kyle groaned from where he was lying face-down on his carpet. “I can’t. I’m doomed, Simon. I mean it this time.”  
  
“You’re in love with your best friend. So what? Happens to the best of us.” He heard Simon open the refrigerator door. “Dude, is this really _all_ the food you own?”  
  
“Hey, I go on missions in _outer space_ a lot, okay? If I stock up it’ll just go to waste.”  
  
Simon opened a carton of orange juice and sniffed it suspiciously. “So what’s the big deal? He rejected you?”  
  
“I haven’t told him anything yet but, you know. Connor’s not gay.”  
  
“He told you that?”  
  
“Well, I asked if he was gay and he said — he said he didn’t know. And that was, like, two years ago.” Kyle resolutely ignored Simon’s raised eyebrow. “Okay, even if he is into guys, he’s definitely not into _me_ .”  
  
“How do you know if you don’t ask him?” Simon asked, slurping the orange juice straight out of the carton. _Kyle’s_ carton. Not that he was planning on drinking that, but it was the principle of the thing. “C’mon, man. You have no problem flirting with every girl in your general area.”  
  
“This is different,” Kyle said. “It’s _Connor_ . We’re … friends.”  
  
Simon fell silent for a long moment, and Kyle knew he was thinking about Jessica, light years away trying to find her own path. “You should tell him, Kyle,” Simon finally said. “You don’t know what the future’s going to bring.”

* * *

Kyle opted to ignore Simon’s frankly-unrealistic advice and instead went bar-surfing. As responsible people did when they were trying to shove their feelings into an abyss.  
  
Alcohol turned out to be a lousy idea, turning his churning emotions into an inebriated hurricane. More than once throughout the night, he found his thumb hovering over Donna’s contact on his phone, remembering how she had told him to call if he ever needed to talk.  
  
God. He had fucked up that relationship so badly. At least he and Donna were still friends, which was more than he could say for his other exes.  
  
At least Donna was still alive.  
  
Kyle buried his head in his arms, only looking up when the bartender snatched away his glass and pointed to the door. It was dark outside and alcohol made the world a kaleidoscope, but he found his way to a taxi, mumbled out the address, and promptly passed out in the backseat.  
  
When he woke up, he was in Connor’s bed.  
  
Kyle sat up, swallowing hard against the bile that rose in his throat. Connor was standing in the doorway, blinking at him.  
  
“Hi Kyle,” he said cautiously, walking over. It was still dark but Kyle could make out a glass of water in his hands.  
  
Kyle took it and downed it, trying to organize his thoughts into something more cohesive than television static. “Uh, thanks. How – how did I –”  
  
“You’re very drunk right now. You called me saying you were outside and I found you sitting on the curb,” Connor explained. “How much did you have to drink?”  
  
“A bit. S’fine,” Kyle slumped back onto the pillow. _Connor’s_ pillow. He frowned bemusedly, picking at the fabric.  
  
“Right,” Connor scratched the back of his neck. “I was trying to get you to the guest room, but it’s by Dad’s room and I didn’t want to wake him. It’s alright, you stay here and I’ll go over there.”  
  
“No!” Kyle said, nearly shouting, and Connor shushed him quickly. Kyle’s vision suddenly blurred with tears; what kind of person just showed up at their friend’s place, totally shit-faced, and then stole their bed? “Don’t go, Connor. You can sleep here, I’ll just sleep on the floor.”  
  
He made to roll off the bed, but Connor caught him by the arm and pushed him back. “I’m not going to make you sleep on the floor.”  
  
“Then we can share,” Kyle patted the blankets next to him. “There’s plenty of space, your bed is huuuge. Please?”  
  
Connor stood still, silhouetted in the dark, for a few moments. Then he sighed fondly, climbing into the bed next to Kyle.  
  
“Don’t throw up on me,” Connor whispered, wrinkling his nose.  
  
Kyle giggled. “I won’t. I promise. _In drunkest day, in boozy night, no puke shall escape-_ ”  
  
Connor shushed him again, but his shoulders were shaking with laughter. “Go to sleep, Kyle.”

* * *

When Kyle woke again, it was bright and he was hungover as hell. His arm had somehow ended up draped over Connor’s waist, and he removed it as gently as he could. Connor stirred but didn’t wake.  
  
Kyle stared at him, briefly imagining a life where he could wake up like this, with Connor by his side, without needing the excuse of alcohol first.  
  
A bump at the door jolted him out of his daydream and upright in bed, waking Connor in the process. A dark-haired, scowling teenager was leaning against the doorframe.  
  
“Oh good, you’re awake,” she said. “Thanks a _lot_ for waking us all up at 3 AM. Dinah says you should get some breakfast before you go.” She left before Kyle could fluster up a response.  
  
“Who was that?” Kyle asked.  
  
Connor sat up in bed and stretched. “That was Emiko,” he said around a yawn. “She’s my…aunt.”  
  
“What? She looks younger than you!”  
  
“She’s Dad’s half-sister. Our family tree is complicated,” Connor stood, looking at Kyle with sleep-soft eyes. “How are you feeling?”  
  
“Terrible, but I’ll live,” Kyle said. “Listen, I’m sorry about last night.”  
  
Connor waved a hand. “Don’t worry, I’m just glad you weren’t alone in that state. Why did you drink so much in the first place?”  
  
Kyle’s mouth felt like it was lined with cotton, and he knew it wasn’t entirely the hangover’s fault. “I was just in a mood, I guess. I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand.”  
  
Connor hummed but dropped the subject. “Well, time to face the music.”

“Shit.” Kyle flopped backward onto the bed with a groan. “Your dad is really going to kill me.”

Connor laughed softly, which was hardly reassuring. “He won’t. I won't let him.”

Kyle gave him a lopsided smile. “You'd fight your dad for me, Connor?”

“It wouldn't be the first time. Come on, I’ll lend you a toothbrush and some clothes.”  
  
Kyle freshened up and considered making a break for it through the bathroom window, but decided against it. When he walked into the kitchen, Connor was already seated at the table with Oliver, Dinah, Emiko, and yet another teenager Kyle didn’t recognize, this one blonde.  
  
“Nice of you to finally join us,” the girl chirped, not looking up from where she was scooping scrambled eggs onto her plate.  
  
“You must be Speedy,” Kyle said, wracking his brain for the name Connor had given him. “Uh, I mean. Mia, right?”  
  
“Got it in one!” Mia flashed him a smile, and leaned forward to slide a bottle of pills across the table towards him. “They’re painkillers. You’ll probably be wanting them about now, yeah?”  
  
“Thanks,” Kyle winced, dropping two pills into his palm and swallowing them dry.  
  
“Yeah, yeah, you’re welcome,” Oliver finally spoke, glaring at Kyle over his plate. “Now, I’m sure you’ve got somewhere else to be, so –”  
  
“He has time to stay for breakfast,” Dinah said. She looked different without her fishnets and combat boots; her hair was pulled into a messy bun and she was still in her pajamas. “Don’t you, Kyle?”  
  
Oliver was still glowering at him, so Kyle answered with, “Yeah, of course.” As if he would ever turn down free food. He sat down next to Connor and took the plate offered to him. “Sorry for, uh, invading your home last night. I got a bit drunk, and I guess I gave the cab driver the wrong address.”  
  
“You got drunk enough to mix _that_ up?” Oliver said, eyes narrowed.  
  
“It happens,” Dinah said dismissively. “Ollie’s done far worse in his youth.”  
  
“Ollie’s done far worse in the past _week_ ,” Mia added.  
  
Emiko smirked. “Oh, do you remember the time he —”  
  
“Okay!” Oliver cut in. “We are not getting into that now, alright?” Kyle shoved a forkful of eggs into his mouth to stifle his laughter.  
  
“I just want to know why it’s taken us so long to meet your _friend_ , Connor,” Emiko said, turning her gaze on Kyle. He tried hard not to flush at her tone. “Outside of costume, at least. How long have you two known each other?”  
  
“Almost two years,” Connor answered.  
  
“I’ve been in space a lot,” Kyle added helpfully. “But I’m trying to be more down-to-Earth nowadays. In a literal sense.”  
  
“So maybe we’ll see you around more often?” Dinah asked.  
  
“If the breakfast is always this good, I’ll move in right now,” Kyle said. Oliver groaned in response.  
  
After breakfast, Dinah pulled Kyle aside.  
  
“You know that if you need anything, we’re always happy to help, Kyle. Even for personal matters,” she told him.  
  
“Yeah, sure,” Kyle said, suddenly embarrassed. “I promise this won’t be a regular thing though. I was just having a shitty night.”  
  
“Good. I’m glad that Connor has you, Kyle. You make him happy,” Dinah said, sincerely. Then her voice dropped, and somehow she managed to look threatening even in her pajamas. “Just know that if you hurt him, it’s not Oliver you’ll have to worry about.”  
  
Kyle swallowed, acutely aware that he was getting the _shovel talk_ from Black Canary. “I know. But trust me, Connor and I… we’re not like _that_ .”  
  
Dinah raised an eyebrow.  
  
“We’re _not_ ,” Kyle repeated. Even to his own ears, the words were unconvincing.

* * *

He didn’t see Connor again until Wally’s birthday party. Apparently Dick had gone all out for his best friend, renting out a banquet hall above a fancy restaurant and inviting anyone and everyone who knew Wally West by name.  
  
Kyle saw Wally’s twins among the crowd, doing a bastardized version of a square dance together as music thudded over the speakers. “Geez, those two have grown. Have you seen Linda?”  
  
Connor shook his head and leaned against Kyle’s side. “I came in with Roy earlier but I haven’t talked to anyone since.”  
  
“Well, it’s a good thing I found you then,” Kyle grinned. “I saw a balcony over to the side. Do you want to take a breather?”  
  
Connor nodded, and followed Kyle through the crowd.  
  
The fresh air was calming after being caught inside for so long. Kyle leaned on the balcony, breathing a sigh of relief when he heard the music inside slow to a waltz.  
  
“Thank god we got out of there,” he said. “I have no idea how to slow dance and I wasn’t planning on embarrassing myself.”  
  
“You don’t know how to slow dance?” Connor asked, raising an eyebrow. Kyle shook his head. “Well, I could teach you.”  
  
“Right now?” Kyle startled.  
  
“It’s easy once you know what to do,” Connor shrugged, reaching out to pull Kyle into the right position. He pressed his other hand against Kyle’s back and began to sway. “See? Not that hard.”  
  
“Yeah, just like archery. Real easy when you’re literally holding my hand through the whole thing,” Kyle tried his best not to trip over Connor’s feet. “They taught you how to slow dance at the monastery?”  
  
Connor gave a startled laugh, apparently finding the image of robed monks ballroom dancing together just as amusing as Kyle did. “I learned for Dad and Dinah’s wedding. Although it turned out to be a waste, since the dance floor was covered in rubble after the ceremony was invaded by supervillains.”  
  
“Maybe not a complete waste,” Kyle said softly. It was impossible to ignore how close they were now. Without thinking, Kyle leaned forward so his forehead was against Connor’s, trying his best to ignore the stutter-stopping of his heart.  
  
Connor stopped swaying. They stood with eyes locked and breath mingling, on the edge of a precipice. It was Connor who moved first, tilting his head and leaning forward.  
  
Before Kyle could even form a coherent thought, he had jerked backward, stumbling till he was pressed against the balcony. His breath caught in his throat and all he could see was Alex’s body stuffed in his fridge, his mother lying sick in a hospital bed —  
  
— the starburst scar on Connor’s chest, left by a bullet wound —  
  
“Kyle?” Connor said, eyes wide. He reached forward. “I’m sorry-”  
  
Kyle shook his head. “I- I have to go.” He pushed past Connor and through the glass doors, trying to get his breathing under control as he made his way through the crowd.  
  
_I almost kissed Connor,_ he thought, and then, _Connor almost kissed me?_  
  
“Kyle!” Someone grabbed his arm and Kyle spun around, tense all over. “Whoa, it’s just me!” Hal said, holding up his hands. “You alright, kid?”  
  
“I’m fine,” Kyle said shortly.

“What happened?” Hal asked. He was looking Kyle over the way he did after a battle, as if checking for injuries. “I saw you leaving with Ollie’s kid.”

“I told you, I’m _fine_ ,” Kyle forced his voice to steady. “Tell John I’m coming back to Oa tomorrow.”  
  
He turned towards the exit, ignoring Hal’s calls of concern behind him.

* * *

Kyle stayed in space for the next month, ignoring the looks that the other Lanterns sent his way. He even ignored John when the other man took him aside to say “hyper-focusing” on work wasn’t healthy. He was a White Lantern and operated outside of the Corps, so technically he didn’t have to listen to John. He could make his own bad choices.  
  
But he couldn’t ignore a distress signal from the Justice League, so he returned to Earth. Just long enough to help contain the robot invasion in the middle of New York, and off-planet before he had the chance to run into any Arrows in the aftermath.  
  
Unfortunately, Speedy seemed to have expected this. When Kyle went to the Watchtower to give his report, he found her standing near the console, arms crossed.  
  
“Hey Mia,” Kyle sighed.  
  
“Kyle,” the archer replied. “We need to talk.”  
  
“About what?” he asked, refusing to meet her gaze. “Sorry, but I’m a little busy right now.”  
  
“ _Riiiight,_ ” Mia rolled her eyes and jabbed her bow at him. “You’re a big hotshot astronaut, huh? No time for us lowlifes down on Earth!”  
  
“Astronaut?” Kyle repeated, affronted. “Look, I just —”  
  
“Why are you avoiding Connor?” Mia asked.  
  
Hearing it upfront and out in the open made the air rush out of Kyle’s lungs. Even in his head, he had been making excuses for himself, but clearly Mia could see right through him.  
  
“I’m not,” Kyle protested weakly. “I just need a little space.”  
  
“Ha! Taking that a bit literally, aren’t ya?” Mia’s smile was sharp. “Look, I know Connor’s upset. He won’t tell me what happened, but he really thinks you _hate_ him or something.”

Kyle felt his stomach flip. “I don’t hate him,” he protested weakly.

“I know that, dumbass. But Connor doesn’t and he won’t listen to me. So talk to him and fix it!”  
  
“It’s not that simple,” Kyle snapped. “I’m sorry Mia, but I really have to catch Carol before she leaves Zamaron.” Even though Carol wasn’t leaving for another two days, which Mia didn’t need to know. Kyle turned to leave. “Tell Connor-”  
  
“Tell him yourself!” Mia said, anger rising, but there was something pleading in her voice now. “Whatever it is, he needs to hear it from you.”  
  
Kyle shook his head and flew out of the Watchtower, forcing down the guilt bubbling in his stomach.

He was doing the right thing here.

* * *

Venting his feelings to Carol turned out to be less therapeutic than Kyle had thought.  
  
“Why don’t you just be honest with him, Kyle?” Carol asked, scanning the fauna of the planet below with her ring. “Tell Connor you’re in love with him.”  
  
“I’m not –” Kyle stopped when Carol shot him a look. He supposed arguing with a Star Sapphire about _love_ wasn’t the brightest idea. “I can’t just say that.”  
  
“Why not?” Carol asked. “You said he tried to kiss you. How much more of a hint do you want?”  
  
“I said I _think_ he tried to kissed me,” Kyle’s face hardened. “It’s complicated, okay?”  
  
“Try me.”  
  
“I don’t know,” Kyle snapped. “Maybe there’s a long list of people who have been hurt because of me. Maybe I don’t want Connor to be added to that list! Is that so stupid of me? To want to protect him?”  
  
Carol was staring at him. “Kyle…”  
  
“I _know_ ,” Kyle shook his head. “Connor can take care of himself. But if something happened to him because of me, I wouldn’t be able to handle it.” Connor’s bullet wound flashed before his eyes unbidden, and he blinked the image away. “I can’t lose him.”  
  
“If you keep pushing him away like this, you’ll lose him anyway,” Carol said. Her voice was soft now. “You think he doesn’t worry about you the same way? And even if you stay on the other side of the galaxy for the rest of your life, something could happen to him, or to you. Will a little distance make either of you stop caring?”  
  
Kyle was silent.  
  
“You can’t go your whole life shutting people out. I know you, Kyle; you’re a Star Sapphire through and through,” Carol drifted closer and placed a hand on his shoulder. “And you care too much to let your fears overcome you.”  
  
Before Kyle could answer, something below them gave a primal _shriek_ . The entire planet seemed to tremble and unfurl, trees reaching into the atmosphere towards them like reaching fingers.  
  
“I thought you said this was a routine check!” Kyle yelled, nearly drowned out by another loud screech.  
  
“It was supposed to be!” Carol yelled back. “There was some report of strange activity on the planet’s surface from a passing ship!”  
  
“Well, this is definitely _not_ normal,” Kyle said, staring in horror as a large patch of the ground rose to form a — wing. The giant wing of a giant bird, its beak like a drill. The beast shook off the trees that had apparently grown _on top_ of it, letting out another terrifying screech before lifting into the air.  
  
“Hit it from the side!” Carol cried, creating a net with her ring. The bird was fast despite its size, and swerved to the side, diving with its sharp claws aiming to kill. Carol dodged narrowly and hit it with a series of blasts from her ring, but the bird seemed unphased by the various attacks aimed at its hide.  
  
“What the hell is this guy made of?” Kyle swooped closer to the planet’s surface. Perhaps it had a weak point on its underbelly, if only he could get a clear shot…  
  
“Kyle, _watch out_ !”  
  
Before he could react, something slammed into him from behind. His brain rattled in his skull, and he felt himself lose consciousness for a few moments. _There’s another one, where did that one come from?_ Kyle thought vaguely, his head spinning. While the first bird was formidable, this one was smaller and apparently more stealthy.  
  
Kyle suddenly became aware that he was falling, falling, falling. On pure instinct, he lifted his ring and created a safety net beneath him, hitting it _hard_ with his back first. It dipped low and dropped him onto the ground.  
  
He could make out Carol above, fighting the screeching bird with a pair of pink boxing gloves. Classic construct, if a bit boring. It was more Hal’s style than Kyle’s, really. Maybe he should get up, and help her, if only his vision would stop teetering…  
  
A shadow passed above him, and Kyle saw the smaller bird swooping toward the ground where he lay. He pulled his thoughts together quickly enough to create a shield above him, but the bird ripped through it like it was made of paper. It pinned him to the ground with its claws, glared at him with beady eyes, before lifting its beak and stabbing downward.  
  
Kyle put his arms up to protect his face, but the beak sliced through his stomach. At first, there was nothing but white-hot, _agonizing_ pain, splitting him open from inside out, spreading through his nerves and his muscles and his thoughts. His whole body spasmed and he gasped, he heard Carol screaming his name, he was—

* * *

Kyle remembered when life felt a lot simpler, back when his ring was still green and being a Lantern still felt like being invincible. Back when his New York apartment still felt like home, and Connor used to clamber through the bedroom window every so often, as if it were his home too.

On one such occasion, after a brief entanglement New York’s Finest (and Most Corrupt), he and Connor had ended up on Kyle’s couch with ice packs on their ribs. The dim glow of the TV flooded the room; Kyle had clicked on some nature documentary neither of them were really watching. In the low light, the purple-yellow bruise blooming across Connor’s jaw looked like a smear of paint.

_“_ _—lost too much blood! Keep him stable, Hal—”_

Something about this memory felt off, as if Kyle was looking it at through the warped figure of an hourglass and time had made everything clearer.

“I just have to wonder,” Connor was saying, “if our predecessors got into nearly as much trouble as we do. It seems like we always end up fighting at bars, or at restaurants, or with cops.”

“I start all of those fights,” Kyle said. Not that Connor needed reminding.

“Your fights are my fights,” Connor told him, and that was Connor for you, wasn’t it? He would follow Kyle anywhere, with his kindness and his ever-present patience. Kyle barely deserved to be his friend, let alone something — more.

But there had always been _more_ between them, hadn’t there? Even here, in this memory, when they had just fallen into the role of friends. There had always been a _possibility_ , almost a tangible thing. A red string of fate linking their little fingers that neither of them dared to tug at, so it lay limply between them.

_“—stay with us, Kyle. Just—”_

Kyle felt like he was made of gauze, and if his thoughts became too heavy they would tear him apart.

_“—breathe—”_

So he stopped thinking, ignored the sudden ache in his stomach, and let Connor’s voice wash over him instead.

“You know I’ll always have your back, right?” Connor said.

“Of course,” Kyle looked at Connor and felt sickly sweet erupt in his chest, bubblegum caught between his ribs. He swallowed hard to push it down. “And I’ve got yours. Always.”

“ _C’mon, Kyle. You’re okay._

_Just hang on.”_

* * *

The first thing Kyle felt when he woke was a throbbing headache.

The second was the feeling of calloused fingers, tangled in his own.

Kyle opened his eyes, and Connor straightened in his seat, pulling his hand back. His eyes were dark with worry.

“You’re awake,” Connor said. “I - how do you feel? Wait, I’ll get Saint Walker –”

“No!” Kyle tried to sit up and winced when a sharp pain lanced through his abdomen. “Connor, wait. Don’t go.”

Connor stared at him, wide-eyed, before slumping back into his seat. He didn’t take Kyle’s hand again. “How do you feel?” he repeated.

“Like a giant space bird skewered me,” Kyle lifted his shirt and examined his stomach. The stab wound had been healed, but a dark bruise still remained under his skin. “Where are we? You said Bro’Dee was here?”

Connor nodded. “We’re on the Watchtower now. Carol brought you back to Oa, but… you were dying, Kyle. The other Green Lanterns called Saint Walker in a panic, and he healed you the best he could. He saved your life, but he drained all his ring’s power doing that much.”  
  
“Oh,” Kyle said. He looked at Connor, but the archer’s eyes were fixed on the wound.  
  
“It should be recharged now,” Connor said. “If you’ll let me get him–”  
  
“No,” Kyle said again, pulling his shirt down. “I need to talk to you first.”  
  
Connor still wouldn’t look at him. “It can wait. You almost died.”  
  
“I know,” Kyle said, and this time he reached out and took Connor’s hand in his own. “That’s why it _can’t_ wait. Connor, please look at me.”  
  
Connor met Kyle’s eyes. There was something guarded in his gaze that Kyle never wanted to see again, especially towards him.  
  
“Lately I’ve been a little bit of an asshole.” Connor scoffed, and Kyle grinned, “Would you let me finish, please? Okay, a _lot_ of an asshole. Happy?”  
  
“Thrilled.”  
  
“Yeah well, you didn’t deserve any of it, and I can’t even tell you how sorry I am. But the truth is Connor, I really care about you. A lot. Way more than as a friend,” Kyle inhaled sharply. “I’m kind of in love with you. I have been for a really long time, even if I never realized it. And that scared the crap out of me.”  
  
Kyle felt Connor’s fingers trembling. “So, you don’t…hate me?”  
  
“What? No, it’s the opposite!” Kyle laughed, a bit hysterically “You really are oblivious when it comes to this stuff, huh?”  
  
Connor laughed too, shakily. “How would I know? You ignored my calls, you flew off into space. I tried to kiss you and you ran away!”  
  
Kyle felt his stomach flip. “So that _was_ what you were going to do?”  
  
Connor sighed. “And you say I’m oblivious.”  
  
“I wasn’t oblivious,” Kyle admitted. “I saw what was between us. But I was afraid I would end up hurting you, and then I ended up hurting you anyway.”  
  
“A little bit,” Connor said, tilting his head. “But I know how you can make it better.”  
  
Kyle’s mouth fell open, but before he could respond there was a loud knock at the door. It opened to reveal Simon, who beamed when he saw Kyle awake and upright.  
  
“Hey, you’re up!” Simon said. “John and Hal checked out those bird creatures that speared you. They were protecting a giant egg at the core of the planet, but as long as everyone stays clear of the surface, we should be fine. Until the egg hatches, but who knows what will happen then?” He shrugged. “I’m about to call Jess, do you wanna talk to her?”  
  
“Go ahead. I really need to tell Saint Walker you’re awake now.” Connor leaned forward and pressed a kiss against Kyle’s temple as he stood. “We’ll talk later, alright?”  
  
“Uh – yeah,” Kyle said, heat rising to his cheeks.  
  
Simon started laughing as soon as Connor left. “Sooo, you finally told him?”  
  
“Shut _up_ , Baz,” Kyle buried his face in his hands to hide his growing smile.

* * *

  
It took a week for Kyle to recover enough that John relieved him from bedrest, during which Connor wasn’t able to visit again. Instead, Kyle flew to Star City to see him, already rapping on the door before he could wonder whether he should have called ahead.  
  
The door swung open to reveal an empty hallway. Kyle blinked before looking down, and found a little girl about half his height staring back at him.  
  
“Hi Lian,” Kyle smiled. “Is Connor here?”  
  
“Yeah, we’re playing Jenga,” Lian said around the fingers her mouth, already running back into the apartment.  
  
Kyle slipped his shoes off and followed her into the living room. Lian was taking her place on the carpet next to Connor and Dinah’s daughter, Sin. They were circled around a Jenga tower that looked seconds away from toppling.  
  
Connor looked up. “Kyle! I’m sorry I couldn’t visit again. How are you feeling?”  
  
“I’m fine,” Kyle waved him off, sitting on the floor next to him. “Yeah, Wally said you were on a very important mission.  
  
“I was,” Connor insisted. “I didn’t wrap it up till yesterday, and I was going to come see you today, but then Roy and Dinah both needed a babysitter.”  
  
Kyle glanced over to see Sin swiftly extract a block from the bottom of the tower. Somehow it stayed standing, and Lian cheered loudly. “The most important mission of all. Don’t worry, I understand.”  
  
“Either way, I think this is a better place to talk than a hospital bed,” Connor stood up and offered a hand to Kyle. “You two will be okay for a few minutes, right?”  
  
“Shhhhh!” Lian said, her eyes glued to the tilting tower. “I’m concentrating.”  
  
“They’ll be fine,” Kyle grinned, following Connor into the kitchen. Connor sat on a countertop and Kyle stood in front of him, feet shuffling nervously.  
  
“Look,” Kyle started, “I know I already apologized, but…I just want to tell you again. I was freaking out, but that’s no excuse for how I treated you, and I…” He trailed off as Connor grasped his forearm and pulled him forward gently, till Kyle’s knees were pressed against Connor’s shins.  
  
Connor cupped Kyle’s cheek with his other hand. “I forgive you,” he said, “And I’m going to kiss you now. Okay?” The unspoken _‘don’t run’_ hung between them.  
  
Kyle nodded, and met him halfway.  
  
The kiss started clumsy, a hard press of their mouths that softened as Kyle moved his hand upward to clasp Connor’s nape and tug him closer. Gravity shifted, they were tangled together with Connor’s free hand clutching the collar of his shirt, humming thoughts long unsaid into each other’s open mouths. It was worth savoring. Kyle traced his fingers against the back of Connor’s neck, down his spine, and lower still–  
  
“What are you guys _doing_ ?”  
  
Kyle jerked backward to see Lian standing in the doorway with her nose scrunched. She looked impatient, as if waiting for an actual answer.  
  
Before Kyle could come up with one, Sin appeared in the doorway as well. “I am hungry,” she said plainly.  
  
“Okay,” Connor said, sliding off the counter. There was laughter in his voice. “Go put your shoes on and we’ll get some dinner.”  
  
The two girls immediately turned to race each other to the door, their childish giggles mingling like wind-chimes in spring.  
  
“So…rain check?” Kyle grinned at Connor, linking their hands together.  
  
“Later,” Connor smiled. The word was full of promise.

**Author's Note:**

> 💚  
> (either Dinah stopped Ollie from putting his chili in the eggs or Kyle actually likes Ollie's chili -- probably the former)  
> hope you enjoyed reading! hmu on tumblr @ lesbianspoiler


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